By Marygrace Lomboy, CRNP
This Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share with you a story of love. As we celebrate the holiday with all of the cards, flowers, chocolates, I think I stumbled upon the greatest gift of all.
I was asked to see an elderly female with advanced Alzheimer’s disease, who lived with her husband of 65 years. They both were up in their 90’s in age but still managed to live independently in the same sweet little cottage they raised their 3 daughters in. I drove up to the house and was greeted by the patient’s husband who was a sturdy compact man who was extremely hard of hearing. He led me into the bedroom where his wife was lying in bed, dosing in and out of sleep. She was surrounded by family and friends, but the patient was unaware of anyone in the room. The patient’s husband explained that she had a very restless night, and he had trouble keeping her from falling out of bed. He stayed up all night just watching her to prevent her from getting injured. He looked exhausted.
After careful review of medications with some recommended adjustments and also some hired help for the upcoming nights, the patient’s husband and I went into the kitchen to get the plan in place. I asked him a few questions on how long he had been caring for his wife. He stated it had been 10 years since she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but she had declined rapidly over the past 3 years. He said the most difficult time was always at night. When I asked what he meant, he said that his wife always would try to wander when he would go to sleep. He was extremely hard of hearing and would not hear her get up in the middle of the night. One time he found her in her nightgown on the front porch heading out into the street. After that episode, he said he found a way to prevent that from happening. In the evening hours, he and his wife would rest in recliners next to each other and watch TV until they would most likely fall asleep. He started to tie a small piece of yarn on her leg and attach it to his leg when they would settle into their recliner each night. If she attempted to wander, the yarn that attached them together would wake him up and he would be able to stop her from wandering. They literally were bound to each other out of necessity but greater than that, incredible love. I guess I looked awestruck when he was explaining this to me, and he said “you see, I took my vows very seriously 65 years ago. In good times and in bad, she is my bride, and I will always love and cherish her. That yarn enabled us to still stay together for the past 3 years without her getting hurt, and every day with her was a gift.”
In looking back at this story, love is a gift that sometimes does hang on by a string—literally, in some cases as this. But what a gift it is.